Rapper's Delight

So I was at work a couple days ago, and I was having a conversation about rap with one of my coworkers. Part of my job requirement is collecting e-mails, and the first person's email I needed to collect began with "teapot." But being in the rap mode I actually typed it "t-pot." The lady was elderly and quite confused. I didn't know how to explain the blunder, so I just said I flaked out and typed it the way it obviously should have been...so based on this error, I decided if I were to have a rapper alter ego, I will be named "T-Pot"...I would love to have some sort of posse, like most famous rappers do, so I am taking applications for two sidekicks which will be name "Short" and "Stout". Let me know if there is any interest.

So I actually came up with my first song, the lyrics anyway. I don't have a beat, maybe "Short" or "Stout" could provide that, but I've supplied the mad rhymes. So read and enjoy.


I like banana's with my seven ten splitz
I'd eat cheese by itself if it wasn't for the Ritz
I eat gritz

It's a southern style far from Eight Mile
But I like Eminem's not by the piece but by the pile
It's just my style

I weigh in at two hundred six
And it's not from nibbling on celery sticks
I eat Twix

I don't want to break the flow
But I make the dough
It's not the type you think
It rises not sinks

But you must add yeast
Don't forget to cook some meats
Then it's time to feast
I drop beets

On the table, cuz I'm not able
To eat that funk
My M.O. is junk

I hope you had some fun
But remember cholesterol's no fun
So I'm done

AKA finished
My belly's pushed the limits
So I need to quit
Cuz it's time to shit...on the real.


OK...so that's that. I think I may have a career opportunity here. I just need Kanye or something, maybe Dr. Dre if I'm desperate to lay the track.

Sorry I had to end on a vulgar note...I need to have an edge, and I need to keep it real...for the homies.

I don't know if I'll ever have another installment from T-Pot or not, I feel I might be more like a one hit wonder. But it was fun anyway.